Mastering Mixed Memories

I have been looking, with increasing intensity, for a stand-mounted mixer ever since I took the gearbox out of one making gingerbread at Christmas. I may have been a bit obsessed with my quest for a mixer. I am far too cheap to spend $300 on a new mixer, so I have been cruising the second hand stores to see what is on offer. Most of what I have found has not been quite right--no beaters, no bowls, wobbly turntable, etc. I knew I had crossed the line from casual shopper to obsessive searcher when I caught myself "putting the word out."

So, I was thrilled last week when my dad called to tell me that they had found a mix master at the local thrift shop. It had a cord, beaters, bowls, everything! Dad and his wife kindly dropped it off and had a visit. The mixer was great, better in some ways than the one we had growing up. It even has a splash cover! I used it to make a batch of corn muffins, and it worked perfectly. Case closed--or it should have been.

I am madly trying to get ready to go back to Haiti on Monday. There are about a million things I have to take care of before I go, but in spite of all that, I've become aware that I still have some unresolved mixer issues. The logical side of me doesn't understand. I was given a perfectly good one already. And, as my daughter has pointed out, I really don't need a stand mixer at all; she does everything with a hand mixer, and so could I. I am going back to a country where a mixer would be the last thing on anyone's priority list--far below tarps, clothes, food, jobs--but yet it lingers in my mind even as I pack and plan.

Yesterday, I was at the bank getting US cash, and thought I would pop into the second hand store next door. I am always looking for suitcases, a 3/4 size (48") box spring (if anyone has one!), and aquarium stuff. On the way out, I passed the appliance section and, to my disbelief, there was a stand mixer. Not just any stand mixer--our stand mixer! A Mixmaster stand mixer complete with the two original bowls, beaters that are not bent, no wobble in the stand, dough hooks, and even the manual! And all for just $20!

Transfixed, I was drawn to the mixer and picked it up. Instantly I understood! This was not just a mixer; it was a memory trigger. That mixer was my mom's mixer with the same beaters I got to lick off, and the same bowl I got to clean out. Those were the beaters I had to straighten in our little shop when I ran the spatula through them.

I know now that, as I head back to Haiti and to families torn apart, I needed that Mixmaster to connecting with my lost family. My mother died of cancer when I was in my 20s. Many of my fond childhood memories include cooking with her. I am really glad I found her mixer but even happier that I figured out why it was so important to find it. Cheap as I am, I would have paid $300 for that old mixer. It is currently sitting on my piano with the family photos, I will find a home for it in a cupboard at some point, but am in no hurry.

P.S. I have about 10,000 songs that play randomly while I work at my computer. In the middle of writing this blog, the Tractors version of "Lord of the Dance" came on. This is the song that my mother wanted to be played at her memorial, and I remember her saying, "Don't let them drag it! It is a celebration! It is dance!" Well, it was played at her memorial, and the organist didn't drag it. But today, as I remembered her yet again, the Tractors took it to a whole other level! She would've like it I am sure! Coincidence?

Plugged Back In

What a great week off! It seems odd to me that, in my year off, I have only taken four weeks off. My favorite week off was the one I spent with my son on the west coast. I forget that although I have experienced many things, my kids haven't. It was even better to watch him experience things for the first time than for me to experience things for the first time. I could really enjoy his reaction and wonder.

My next best week this year was the trip with Murray to the Reno air races. There are not many people that would enjoy driving 5000 km in a week, but he and I did just fine. Attending the Reno air races was the second last thing on my bucket list, and it was great to share it with the man who was so influential in molding my working life. We spent many hours doing road math, with just enough time on the internet at night to verify our formulas and such.

The last thing on my bucket list was to try surfing. This week was a lot more work, but it was rewarding as well. I really appreciate the people who gave me good advice and the mothers who watched my stuff and took pictures for me! I should have done that trip about ten years ago!

Last week I unplugged and had a stay-cation. I needed a break from the neverending stream of emails and requests for my services. I needed to recharge, re-evaluate and reflect. Too many days have been spent sitting in my room in the basement pounding away on a keyboard, conference calling online and uploading photos. Being so connected was slowly causing me to disconnect.

I started the week by hosting my first dinner party. (Not exactly as shown above.) I made a complete turkey dinner including homemade buns! Ok, I had a little help, but it was mostly me. I have learned that I like to cook--which is handy because I love to eat! The best part is that I ate turkey leftovers for most of the rest of the week, made a big pot of turkey soup, and still put 6 turkey platter dinners in the deep freeze for later, if my son doesn't find them and eat them for late night snacks.

I took apart my big aquarium and rebuilt it with new everything: rocks, shells and fish. I am sure Big Al's and Pisces were really happy about this! I sexed all the guppy babies that have been born lately and split them up into different tanks, and I did it all without breaking anything or flushing any fish down the drain, I think.

I had more face to face contact with other people than I have had in a long time. I met new friends and re-connected with old friends. With the help of Carole and Wilma, we put on a presentation about my last trip to Haiti and auctioned off some great art work. Thanks to all who bid and donated. There will be 10 more people in Haiti drier and happier because of you, not to mention about a dozen artisans who are better able to look after their families.

I had some great times with my kids and grandkids. At one point there were 5 stinky boys in the house and only 2 girls. I mostly cooked and did dishes. It was great. I didn't cook all the time. I did get out to eat a few times. I had lunch with an old friend at a new-to-me Vietnamese restaurant called Saigon Y2K. Y2K? Where does that come from? Anyway, they serve a great simple lunch.

The week was not all good. I don't intend to discard my connected lifestyle. I became aware of all the people who I am only connected to by ether. I missed them. I have friends all over the world. Many started as work collaborators but have evolved into more. I guess I just took it for granted that I knew what the weather was like in northern India or how much rain Bolivia had this week. Knowing what the roads are like in Ontario became just as much a part of my life as what the roads are like in Alberta. I like to know what crop is coming off the fields in Kenya, or isn't coming off for that matter.

Here is the point. People matter. All people matter. At the end of the day family and friends are all I have that really matters. The stuff is great, but only if it is making it easier to connect with family and friends. I love the convenience of having my car so I can go and see the grandkids when I want, but as long as the car gets me there, it does not matter to me what it looks like. Being plugged in has given me the ability to have more people in my life, but being too plugged in can get in the way of the connections I have in front of my face. Life is about balance and the trick is find the balance that works best for you.

I am back to Haiti on the 29th, and I will be plugged in but not as plugged in as last time. I will blog while I am gone, but not every day. There are huge jobs to do down there, and they deserve my 100% attention. Thanks to all that have helped so far. If you aren't sure if you need to get involved, look up tonight as you lay in bed. If there is anything other than a bed sheet or a tarp over your head, you need to get involved!

Un-Plugged

I have become increasingly plugged in--my choice--and I like it that way, but I am now past the halfway mark on my one-year leave from work and have yet to wake up and wonder what I might do today. I hate to admit that I don't even have to get out of bed to plug in. I have a computer on my bedside table, another at the foot of my bed, and third in my living room next to the TV, and a fourth that fits in my fanny pack. My phone gets my email from 3 accounts, instant messages from 2 more accounts, text messages anywhere in the world and, oh yes, it gets phone calls on a bluetooth earpiece, too. It is not uncommon for me to get up at 3am to pee (I am getting older) and have an IM chat with India or England. I sleep with an ear open for the "bing" of incoming anything, and I wake to the glow of a flat screen. I am not complaining, and I know that I am not the only person who lives this way. I do choose to live like this, and, for the most part, I like it. I am plugged in!

I have been threatening to take a holiday, to grab a last minute deal and spend a week snorkeling or something. That idea is not working out for me. I am too cheap. What if there is a better deal next week, after all? But, after returning from Haiti, the need for a holiday has gotten even greater. A trip like that is stressful, and my life has not been event-less this year even without the earthquake. If a holiday is out of the question, maybe I could schedule a small breakdown, but who has the time?

Here is what I have decided to do: I am going to unplug. No, really I am! At noon on Saturday the 13th, I am going to unplug. I am not going to check email, write reports, answer questions, answer emails, text, or solve anybody else's problems for 1 week and 1 day. When I told my scheme to various members of my family, I always got the same response. You guessed it: laughter. Well I am going to do it! I am going to get up in the morning and go for a walk, or fly my plane, or fix the plane I flew into the barn yesterday morning, or whatever I want. I might throw a dinner party or learn to cook (order would be important here), or I might read a book (Okay, quit laughing). So, for 8 days I will be as good as dead to the e-world, and my guess is that little will change, and few will miss me.

Haiti was a very powerful and sobering experience that I wish no one would ever have to repeat. But if such a thing should happen to my family and community as happend there, I hope that there will be those who will assist us as we assisted them. I do not regret in any way, shape, or form going to Haiti. As a matter of fact, I am looking forward to returning on the 30th of this month, but I need to breathe for myself for a bit. Paradoxically, I need to unplug to recharge. So I will see you all in a week and a bit. I suppose the safe money is on me surfacing sooner. Maybe someone wants to start a 50/50 pool going as a fundraiser or something, but I won't know about it, because I WILL BE UNPLUGGED!

...And They're Off!

The clouds broke this morning as we drove down to the camp to meet Paco, the contractor. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have spent the night in the sheet tents that can be found in each camp. There is a saying here that Haitians would rather take a bullet than get wet. This is not a group of people you will find singing in the rain! Before we got to the camp, the sky was clouding over--motivation enough for all to work quickly!

As we walked from the truck to the camp the ground was muddier than any other day, and I could see were the ditches had been flowing fast, carrying debris down to the sea. Paco was waiting for us at the camp with the camp council, and we started the final meeting before breaking ground. It is very important that all the players are sing from the same song sheet--not an easy task when the parties involved speak English, French, Spanish and Creole. By the end of the meeting, the air was filled with a beautiful four-part harmony--music to my ears.

Paco took us to see a similar shelter that his crew had built in the yard where they are staying. We took a few from the camp to see as well. These are simple shelters, but so much better than a bed sheet! Paco impressed me with his design for the camp by describing the site drainage first and the housing second. It is all about the drainage, and he gets that! At one point, there was a very spirited exchanged between the women's representative and the men's representative in one or more languages, none of which were English. Ron informed me that the discussion was around why they were still talking, and not working! And...they're off! Tents have to come down to put a shelter up; the community will erect one set of houses a day so no one is outside for a night.

Two years ago, I was called to Africa to deal with some light/water issues. I had to leave the autodesk conference early to catch the plane. On my way out, my eye was drawn to a small wind-up flashlight that Autodraft was giving out. I immediately thought, "These would be very useful for many people I see when I travel." Getting to the outhouse in the dark while avoiding the elephants can be tough without light. I approach Claire, the owner of Autodraft, about getting a few to take. When I explained why I wanted them, she went to the back of her car and GAVE me about 150 lights! I brought the last of the lights with me to Haiti and left them with the matriarch of the camp to give to those most in need. It is amazing what the gift of light can do when there is only darkness around you! (Glance at the darkness, but look to the light!)

We leave tomorrow (I think I will be back soon), and although the skies are dark, there is a bit more light in the lives of one small group of Haitians because of those of you who have helped--helped with donations, helped with communication, helped with moral support, and helped with raising awareness back home! I cannot say thank you enough!