It's NOT About Turtles

What is made of plastic, is about the size of a serving platter and has a little plastic palm tree stuck in the middle of it? If you can answer this correctly, you are probably more than 40 years old. I am referring to the turtle bowl that is now absent but was so common in many homes 30some years ago. I have often wondered where those little turtles went. It turns out that a little more than 30 years ago, they were banned because of health concerns. (Check these links for some background.) Apparently, sticking your pet turtle in your mouth can have some undesirable side effects. Go figure!

I’ll leave all the salmonella discussion alone because I am definitely not qualified to comment on national health policy. I will, however, comment on the appeal of the little red-eared slider turtle. I had more than one when I was growing up. I was a proud owner of them right up to the time they were banned, I suspect. I remember going to Super S Drugs in Calgary, going down into the basement and making a beeline for the pet section. I loved to look at the turtles, but I spent just as much time looking at the turtle bowls. Eventually, my parents caved, and it was a proud moment for me when I installed the little palm tree on the island in the center of the bowl and put Flash in his new home. Okay, to be honest, I don’t remember putting Flash in the bowl. But I do remember erecting that tree!

I don’t think Flash (sarcasm, irony and puns were three of the main communication tools in our house) ever took as much pleasure in the palm tree as I did. I loved the little brown trunk and the green pop-off fronds. It did not seem odd to me to be attracted to a tree at age 7, but, 30some years later, I have paused to give this a second thought. It seems to me that the little tree stood for something exotic and foreign, something I would never get to touch or see in person. (A trip to Vernon was a big deal at that time in my life.) Now, much later in life, it turns out that the tree was the easy part. I have touched, climbed, and lived off the meat of the coconut palm tree, but can’t seem to get my hands on a turtle!

There is no question in my mind that the little tree in my turtle bowl sparked my imagination and motivated me to travel to faraway lands where I could sleep under the big brother to my bowl ornament. By the way, don’t sleep under a coconut tree; there are more people killed by falling coconuts than by sharks. As an aside, there is an entire industry based on climbing coconut palms and removing young coconuts before they mature and fall killing unsuspecting tourists. Take your inspiration where you find it, a plastic tree, a paper airplane, or even a falling apple (oh right, that one has been done).

Go Fast and Turn Left

I have been flying model airplanes of some sort for 40 years (I started very young!) and radio controlled airplanes for 32 years. For 30 years, I have been trying to go fast and turn left—the motto of a pylon racer. I have raced just about anything that flies—from gas airplanes that go faster than 200 mph to the very slow, electric Vapor racing. What would make a man do such a thing? I had to have a serious talk with myself early this Monday morning. I drove two hours to fly in a gym and race Vapors. This is a plane whose claim to fame is that it flies at the speed of an out-of-shape geriatric with a bad hip! At full speed I can keep up to this plane without breaking a sweat. So what is the appeal in racing these aircraft?

I have identified three types of racers over the years. There is the Tinkerer who loves to try new equipment, new designs, new props or new motors. I started out as this guy - always designing a new plane, always stretching the rules. There was lots of room to improve back then: the rules were loose, designs were evolving, and materials for construction were pretty standard. I had some successes as a Tinkerer. Paul, an engine wizard, and I teamed up to build the Ultrax. This plane was hands down the fastest thing in the sky, albeit a bit hard to control.

The Spender has made a bold appearance in the sport in recent years. This is the guy who simply buys the best of everything currently produced in the world. With the internet and international competition, anyone with enough money can fill these shoes. This approach does not guarantee success. I have seen many a Spender re-kit (crash) their high priced stuff due to a lack of skill. A significant number of these competitors seem to be divorced. Go figure!

It is the presence of the third group of racers (my current home) that makes Vapor racing possible. The Flyer wants to race evenly matched equipment. Ideally, all planes are exactly the same—that way, when I beat you, it is because I am a better pilot. This group would race dust bunnies if we could figure out how to put a radio into them. It does not matter how fast the planes go, as long as everyone is going about the same speed, and it is best if the race is very close. I would far rather place second in a very close race than win a race by three laps. It is the heat of battle that is the thrill, even more so than the victory. Don’t get me wrong; this is a very competitive group of people, but the pleasure comes from the race, not the win. There is more honour in a victory based on skill than a victory based on weaponry.

I have wondered if this attitude has permeated past my flying and into my life. Those who know me will say, “YES!” I find that often my goal is to do more with what I have instead of having more: My car was the cheapest new car on the market when I bought it 18 years ago, and it currently has 510,000 km; I love to find free software to do the job of expensive, flashy software; I take great pleasure in getting water out of the ground cheaper and more reliably than the big NGOs. I don’t need to lead the race. I just want to win it in the last lap.

The Devil’s in the Details

This weekend I spent 36 hours on my back in bed—and not in the good way! I was incapacitated, unable to use even my computer. Not my idea of a good weekend! I spent three of those long hours watching a series of shows about the Second World War aircraft carrier, the Enterprise. This was the jewel of the Pacific fleet and, apparently, it had more lives than a cat. An aircraft carrier is a floating city, a very complex piece of machinery for its day.

Near the end of the war, the Japanese planned kamikaze flights against the advancing enemy in a last ditch effort to slow or stop the U.S. Navy. What happened on one of these missions was that, after watching many of his fellow countrymen try and fail, one lone Japanese Zero pilot dropped out of the sky and flew to the center of an entire battle group of ships becoming the sole recipient of all the anti-aircraft guns that could possibly be pointed in his direction. He flew not into the ship but low alongside the ship, and as he approached the stern, he pulled up, did a half-roll and flew directly down the elevator shaft. The sole 500 pound bomb on his aircraft detonated on the fifth floor and incapacitated the Enterprise for the remainder of the war. The Enterprise never fought again and was eventually sold for scrap metal—cut up and undoubtedly turned into Fords or Chevys or washing machines or something.

Two things went through my mind as I watched this movie. First, I knew where George Lucas got the idea to end the Death Star. Granted, he didn’t use a kamikaze pilot, but that was because he was planning many sequels. The second thing that went through my mind was, “I wonder if anybody thought of this attack when Enterprise was being designed. Can you imagine walking into the design meeting and saying, ‘This isn’t good enough! Why give me one 500 pound bomb and a stunt pilot, and I will turn this boat into soup cans!’” I suspect you would have been laughed out of the office.

It never ceases to amaze me how often it is in life that one small detail that brings down one very large creation. Setting the Death Star aside, how about the first space shuttle disaster? One O-ring in untested conditions, and…well, you know the rest. Innumerable foreign aid projects have failed because no one checked that parts were available for machines that were sent over or because no oil or fuel was available. The problem could be the new plumbing part that I have that never fit with the plumbing parts already installed in the house. Or perhaps I forgot to get that one little conversion fitting. No amount of duct tape will hold up under 60 psi of water pressure. Trust me; I know this!

I am good at coming up with ideas. I have hundreds of them—some of them are pretty good, too—but a good idea needs to have the details worked out before it is of any use. I have been lucky to work with Murray all these years because he was able to get me to focus on the details in a learning assignment. Students need the details. I need the details. The designers of the Enterprise needed the details. It is great to have a visionary on your team, maybe even a couple, but you better have just as many detail-people or the project may come off the rails well into the construction or implementation stage. You can never plan for everything, but that is not a good reason to take the ‘it will all turn out fine in the end; we will deal with that later’ approach. If you know there is a problem, deal with it now. Plenty of problems will crop up later that you never expected to deal with. See the vision, but breathe the details.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

A new member has been added to this May’s Bolivia trip. Wilma is going to join us and will bring her fruit tree and production garden experience with her. The goal for our group is to develop a three-year plan for food production for CERENID, a home for street boys, near Samaipata so her skills will valuable indeed. Also in the group we have Brent, an Olds College GIS student who will be in charge of mapping; Stacey, an Olds College Agricultural Production student, in charge of infrastructure; vets; a medical professional; a livestock specialist; an agricultural mechanic; and a writer extraordinaire! What a great team! Oh yes, and then there is me—the Jack of all trades.

Currently, the students are busily preparing their presentations with background information of Bolivia. We will have two presentations at noon on Friday March 13th.I am curious to see how their impressions of the country change as they go from impartial researching to actually travelling in and experiencing the country, because I’m very sure they will. For me, one of the best parts about traveling is that what I expect and what I end up experiencing is rarely the same thing. I suppose this also a good thing for the travel industry; if you could get the whole experience by merely researching a country, there would be far less incentive to spend all those wasted hours in airports!

The daily planner I use for these trips is a spreadsheet. That is because the plan changes often, and the idea of typing up a new one every time a change is made terrifies me! As I suspected would be the case, I am on version six of the schedule already—what with trying to coordinate in-country hosts and finally getting flights confirmed and such. I love spread sheets! I am moving, rearranging, and calculating like mad. It is the closest I get to being organized. (Thanks, Murray).

We have a great team assembled! Couple this with some great in-country contacts (you have to have great people on the ground) and I think we are looking at an unforgettable learning experience for everyone. It’s Bolivia or bust, baby. Just try to stop us now!